


Take My Hand and Never Look Back

by starla3017



Category: Transformers Generation One
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety, Cultural Differences, Depression, Flashbacks, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Marriage, Multi, Sexual Interfacing, The Decepticons aren't completely devoid of emotions, The matrix of leadership isn't really a good thing, Transformers Spark Bonds, Trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-20
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:02:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27640415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starla3017/pseuds/starla3017
Summary: Galvatron offers a solution to Hot Rod's fear of The Matrix and becoming Rodimus Prime again...marriage. Hot Rod accepts, but now must learn the customs of Decepticon life, all while fighting his inner demons.
Relationships: Galvatron/Hot Rod
Comments: 3
Kudos: 26





	1. Announcement

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [fire kissed us and laughed](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25936711) by [Stairre](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stairre/pseuds/Stairre). 



> ***This is a FAN CONTINUATION. It is NOT a cannon sequel to the original story. This work was inspired by "Fire Kissed Us And Laughed" written by Stairre. Permission was obtained by the original author to write MY OWN version of how the story continues. I encourage you to read the original work to fully understand this one.***
> 
> Chapter warnings will be listed in each description.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING!! THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS THE ACTS OF AN ATTEMPTED SUICIDE!! PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK!!

Hot Rod sat outside the doors to the communications room. Galvatron was inside with Scourge, preparing to make the announcement to the rest of the Decepticons of the impending union of the Emperor of Destruction to the former Prime. Cyclonus stood to his right, watching the young mech closely. He had been instructed by his lord to keep an eye on his future consort due to Hot Rod still being in a state of fear and depression despite his freedom from the Matrix. Cyclonus and Scourge had been thrilled over the news and reassured Hot Rod that he was welcomed and safe. As Cyclonus watched him, he noticed that he was trembling. He knelt in front of Hot Rod and rested his hands firmly on his shoulders. "Be still, Lord Hot Rod. I assure you the Decepticons will be overjoyed to learn of your impending marriage to Lord Galvatron. There is no need to be afraid." Hot Rod's body slowly stopped shaking. "I just hope that I'll be able to fit in. Decepticon customs are very different than what I am used to. I don't want to embarrass Galvatron." Cyclonus frowned and took Hot Rod's chin in his hand, lifting his face to meet his eyes. "If Galvatron ever thought you would embarrass him in any way, you would not be sitting here with me at this moment." Hot Rod looked at him uncertainly before wiping his eyes and giving the faintest of smiles. "Yeah. O-ok." It was at that point that the doors to the communication room opened and Scourge emerged from inside. "Lord Galvatron is ready for you now." He said. Attempting to calm himself, Hot Rod to a deep breath before standing and allowing himself to be escorted in. 

Galvatron turned and gave a small smile to Hot Rod. He could see the young bot was still scared. He approached him and rested his hand on the side of his face. “Calm yourself, Hot Rod. This will be quick. You do not have to say anything if you do not feel ready to.” Hot Rod swallowed before returning his gaze to his Emperor. “I’ll speak, but only if the Decepticons want me to.” He said quietly. The Emperor smiled again. “Very well. Let us proceed.” Soundwave started the transmission. Hot Rod blanched when he saw every known Decepticons on the screen. “My Decepticons! Today I have an announcement of unprecedented importance. As your Emperor, I have fought many battles. And I am proud to shared that as of yesterday, I have won my biggest victory. Here with me stands Hot Rod, formerly known as Rodimus Prime. The young mech has accepted my proposal to become my consort. In doing so, he is choosing to denounce his title of Autobot, and learn the ways and traditions of the Decepticons. I do not need to explain what and honor this surely is, to marry my rival. But in doing so, I am also giving due warning, no one is to lay a hand on him in any way, lest you answer directly to me. The ceremony will take place in two weeks, so plan accordingly. Long live the Empire!” The Decepticons erupted into victory chants and mantras. “Hail Galvatron! Hail Hot Rod! Long live the Empire!” Hot Rod stood in silence; cheeks flushed. After a moment of soaking it all in, he pulled back away from the screen. Galvatron signaled for the transmission to be cut. “You did very well Hot Rod! As you have just witnessed, the Decepticons take marriage very seriously. And it is obvious they have already approved of my choice to take you as my consort.” He grinned.

Hot Rod cracked a small smile. “Heh, yeah. I just hope they don’t grow tired of me.” He said. This made Galvatron growl dangerously. “They would be wise to never show it if they do, or they can mouth off to my cannon.” Hot Rod was about to breathe a sigh of relief when a hacked transmission lit up the telescreen. Optimus Prime, Ultra Magnus, Kup, Arcee and Springer greeted them with mixed looks of anger and fear. “You dare hack into our frequencies Autobots?!” Galvatron snarled. Hot Rod recoiled in horror at seeing his former faction mates. He was caught by Scourge, who held him steady. Optimus pointed a finger to the screen. “Galvatron, I’m only going to say this once, release Hot Rod.” Hot Rod winced and tears began to form in his eyes. “And what makes you think I’m keeping him here as a prisoner?” Galvatron responded as his arms crossed over his chest. Optimus scowled at him. “I’m not stupid, Galvatron. With Hot Rod’s former status, it’s obvious you would want him as a hostage.” Galvatron laughed. “I assure you Prime; he is not a hostage. He is staying with us of his own free will. And I doubt he will choose to leave and return to you piles of shit!” Ultra Magnus pushed past Optimus. “There is no way in hell Hot Rod would stay with you heartless murderers!” He turned to Hot Rod, who was still being held upright by Scourge. “Don’t worry Hot Rod. We’ll rescue you.” When he heard those words, his energon ran cold. “No.” He said firmly.

Ultra Magnus stood in shock. “What do you mean no? You can’t be serious.” Hot Rod ran to the screen. “Well guess what? I am! For a year, I told you what that damn Matrix was doing to me! Since Optimus Prime got it back, I’ve tried to tell you how it corrupts and alters its barer! None of you listened. And you expect me to take it back someday whether I want to or not? No! I’d rather stay here than allow that thing to ever come near me again!” Tears were flowing down his face. “I’m staying here. So don’t even waste your time with a rescue mission, because I won’t allow you to take me back and become a slave to the Matrix.” Optimus approached the screen. “You cannot speak such things about the Matrix. And you’re clearly under some kind of influence by the Decepticons. Once we get you out of there, we’ll fix whatever they’ve done to you.” Hot Rod glared at Optimus. “Let me ask you something. Who were you before you became Optimus Prime?” Optimus flinched at his outburst before straightening himself. “That has nothing to do with this situation.” Hot Rod slammed his fists on the console. “You can’t answer because you don’t remember! This is what I’m talking about. The Matrix alters you thinking so much, you forget who you once were and only think what it wants you to! And you have the nerve to try to tell me who’s thinking clearly or not? Forget it! I’m staying. And I’m marrying Galvatron! As far as I'm concerned, you can all go fuck yourselves!” Hot Rod ran out of the room sobbing. Galvatron watched as he ran from the room. He turned back to the screen with a look of pure hatred. “Come anywhere near him Prime, and I will do more than just kill you. And that is not a mere threat!” Before Optimus could respond, he raised his cannon and fired it at the screen. It exploded into shards of metal and glass. “Increase Charr’s defenses. Do not let them past our outer atmosphere.” He ordered. “Cyclonus, go to Hot Rod. Inform him that I will be with him shortly.” Cyclonus bowed. “As you command, my lord.”

When Cyclonus arrived at the habsuite, he almost glitched. Hot Rod was sitting on the bed with a laser scalpel held up to the main energon line in his neck. “Hot Rod! Stop! What the hell are you doing?” Cyclonus rushed towards him, only to be forced to stop when Hot Rod moved the laser closer to himself. “I’m not gonna let Galvatron waste his time by keeping them away from me! I’m nothing but a piece of shit! I got Optimus killed, then was taken over by that corrupting monstrosity. Forced to become the worse Prime ever. I can’t live with this hanging over me anymore! I won’t!” He lifted his chin to make the fatal cut. A shot rang out and the scalpel was blown from his hand. While he was stunned, Cyclonus lunged forward and pinned him down. In the door, Scourge lowered his gun and Galvatron stood beside him, fuming. “What in the name Primus did you think you were doing?” He spat. Crossing the room quickly, he pulled Hot Rod’s face up to look into his eyes. “Why?” He demanded. Hot Rod flinched. “Because when I agreed to marry you, I didn’t think I would have to tell them of the choice I made. I hoped they would just assume I was killed in battle. As far as they’re concerned, I’m a traitor. I can never go back now.” He sobbed. Galvatron motioned for Cyclonus to release him. Once unrestrained, the warlord pulled him to his chest. “You are right. You can never return to them. But that means you have no choice but to adapt. Make a life for yourself here. To be honest though, I fail to see why you value their view of you so much. You have said yourself that they do not care for your wellbeing by expecting you to retake the Matrix someday. They are fools to expect such a thing of you!” He put Hot Rod’s head on his shoulder. “There was a time when I would have celebrated your death. To snuff out your spark with my bare hands. But as I have said, you have proven yourself to be my perfect rival. And I will not allow you to end your life over a few Autobot cowards.” Hot Rod wiped his tears, looking into Galvatron’s eyes. "I’m sorry. I’m just scared.” He said quietly. “I know.” Galvatron replied. “But it will be ok. I promise.”


	2. Foreign Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by fire kissed us and laughed by Stairre.
> 
> ***This is a FAN CONTINUATION. It is NOT a cannon sequel to the original story. This work was inspired by "Fire Kissed Us And Laughed" written by Stairre. Permission was obtained by the original author to write MY OWN version of how the story continues. I encourage you to read the original work to fully understand this one.***
> 
> Chapter warnings will be listed in each description.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING!! THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS TALKS OF SUICIDE/SELF HARM, TRAUMA AND DEPICTS TRAUMATIC REACTIONS.

If Hot Rod would have been told that there would be a time where he'd be on Charr getting to know the Decepticons individually and their ways of life, he'd have died of a laughing induced spark attack. But here he was, standing outside Polyhex's city limits, watching Devastator and Menosaur throw hands at each other. "So just to make sure I understand correctly, since Mixmaster decided to pick a fight with Dragstrip, their other gestalt mates are also involved by default?" Galvatron nodded. "Yes. But both groups must have every member agree to merge in order for their gestalts to be brought in. For instance, if every member of the Stunticons wanted to come together as Menosaur, but so much as one of the Contructicons didn't want to unite as Devastator, then Menosaur would not be used. In battle against an Autobot gestalt however, that would not be the case. Survival cannot always allow one to play fair." Hot Rod took it in as best he could.

Over the course of the last week, he had learned quite a bit of their beliefs. While the Decepticons were vicious and dirty fighters in combat, they tended to settle their differences with one another....differently. Oh they still tried to kick each other's asses. But when in a brawl with their own faction members, the fights were carried out in a fair and honorable style. There were no cheap shots, no ambushes, and very rarely did their spats involve using guns on each other. As Galvatron had said, if you were gonna run your mouth, you had to back up your words with strength as well. It had been a hard pill to swallow. Autobots were known for trying to solve conflicts without violence. He had become sick to his stomach when he had asked Cyclonus what to do if he ever found himself in the sights of an offended Decepticons. The warrior had responded with a you-know-damn-well-what-you'll-have-to-do look. Thankfully, the Decepticons were all aware of Hot Rod's nuance to their ways. They had been thoroughly warned to steer clear of him, or Galvatron would attack them himself. Oh, and there was only one exception to the honorable fighting rule: NEVER target a Decepticons mate unprovoked. Break that rule, and all bets were off. A few of those situations had already surfaced, and none of them had ended pretty. In fact, one of the bodies still had pieces unaccounted for. 

Eventually Menosaur came out the victor, and the two groups each headed off in their own directions for repairs. "Come, I wish to have energon in our room as we discuss more details of our wedding." Hot Rod took the arm Galvatron had offered and walked beside him. Only Hot Rod was of high enough status to walk side by side with the Emperor of Destruction. Even Cyclonus kept a step or two behind him. As they traveled the corridors, a few passing Decepticons bowed in respect to them. He was still uncomfortable with that gesture, along with hearing his titles of 'Lord Hot Rod' and 'Prince Consort of Galvatron'. He had asked if he could just be called Hot Rod, but Galvatron had shot that wish down quickly. 'Anyone I choose to rule next to me will not be spoken to without proper verbal acknowledgement of his elite status'. Hot Rod had started to protest further, but Cyclonus had given him a look that said 'you're not gonna get anywhere with it so let it go'. So he did. When they got to their room, Hot Rod went to the window overlooking Polyhex. Galvatron quickly secured the locks and hurried over to his side. "What? I'm just looking out the window." Hot Rod huffed. "I promise I'm not gonna try anything." Galvatron roughly turned him to face him, firmly gripping his chin.

"I do not yet believe that you are past your thoughts of suicide. Until that time, you will always be within the sights of someone I trust lest you attempt that shit again." He hissed into his ear. Hot Rod shivered at his strong display of protectiveness. He leaned into Galvatron, burying himself into the warlords powerful chest and arms. "Are you still sure I'm worth the trouble?" He asked. Bad idea. He yelped as he was thrown across the rom and onto the bed. As he was starting to roll over onto his stomach, he was rushed and pinned down from behind. Galvatron straddled his hips and held him down by the wrists. "I do not bother with anything that I see as useless!" He snarled. "I will give you one warning, never bring such a question to my ears again, or I will have Cyclonus chain you down and whip you senseless!" Hot Rod trembled, silently hoping that Galvatron might punish him by tearing out his vocal unit. His field rippled uncontrollably with anxiety and dread. "Mighty Galvatron! Please let Hot Rod up. He's clearly afraid and needs to calm down." Cyclonus had run to their room when he had felt his lords anger. 

He looked at Hot Rod again. The young mech was shaking, tears running down his face as he whimpered loudly. He quickly got up and backed away from the bed. "I have got some things to see to Hot Rod. I shall return later." With that Galvatron hurried out of the room. Hot Rod curled in on himself and cried quietly. Cyclonus crossed the room and sat down beside him. "I apologize for his actions Lord Hot Rod. We Decepticons struggle with showing gentleness to anyone. We are prone to dominance and hostile reassurances. Galvatron is not used to treating anyone softly. Give it time. He will adapt." Cyclonus put his hand on his shoulder. Hot Rod nodded. "He's right though. I still want to die. There's no way I could be this meaningful to anyone, let alone him." He choked out. Cyclonus opens his mouth to speak, but a sudden explosion from outside knocks them both off the bed. Hot Rod shrieks as he is caught by Cyclonus. "What was that?!" He asks in panic. Cyclonus runs to the window. "The Autobots are attacking! Hide yourself!" He transformed and shot off into the battle. Hot Rod ran to a corner of the room and curled in on himself behind a desk. He was tired of fighting. He'd been fighting in this war since the day he was created. He had begged Galvatron to kill him to avoid that fate. And now the Autobots were trying to take him back to Cybertron and make him become Prime again someday. He couldn't handle it. He covered his head with his arms and rocked.

Outside, Galvatron was tearing apart everything in his path. He was enraged that the Autobots had dared to come and try to steal away Hot Rod. "PRIIIIIIIIIMMEE!" He shrieked. "I will rend you and your fucking rescue team to ashes before I let you near him!" He fired his cannon at anything that moved. "You've corrupted his mind Galvatron! We're taking him back and undoing your damage!" Optimus yelled as he shoots at him. Transforming into his cannon mode, he first aims at Optimus, but then turns his barrel up to the ship above them. "Decepticons! Attack their ship!" He orders. Cyclonus, Scourge and the sweeps charge the Autobot vessel, but are held back by Springer and the Aerialbots. So instead, Cyclonus rains firebolts all over the battlefield. "There's too many of them! Autobots retreat!" Optimus yells. He jumps onto the deck of their ship and they make a quick escape. Transforming back to his root mode, Galvatron growls in agitation. "Cowards! All of them!" He snarls. Cyclonus transforms and lands beside him. "Where is Hot Rod?" Galvatron asks. "I told him to hide. So I am thinking he's still in your room." 

Hot Rod kept his head covered as he stayed hidden. Every memory as Rodimus Prime raced through his head, along with every possibility of what would happen if the Matrix took him again. "Hot Rod! Where are you?" He heard Galvatron land hard and begin searching around the room. He stood up from behind the desk. Galvatron caught his movement in the corner of his eye. Quickly crossing the room, he grabbed Hot Rod's shoulders. "Are you alright?" His question was answered only by a blank stare. "Hot Rod? Talk to me." Galvatron roughly patted his cheek. "Cyclonus, call for Hook." Cyclonus put his hand to his head and did as ordered. "Come now, Hot Rod. Don't let the Autobots make you live in constant fear. I will not allow them to take you away from here. I will rip their heads off and use them as door stops before they lay a hand on you!" He vows through gritted teeth. Again, no response. Sighing, Galvatron resorts to just guiding him back in the direction of the bed. Hook finally arrives and examines him. "He's dissociating. We have two choices right now. Either wait and see if he comes out of it and hope he doesn't need to be restrained, or I can sedate him and he can sleep it off. But we can't continuously give him sedatives or he'll build a tolerance. Either way, he's never going to get better without some form of psychological assistance." Galvatron frowned deeply at Hook's words. "Hot Rod is choosing to leave everything and stay on Charr. That means that he must have the tiniest shred of hope that he will be happy here. And I will do everything in my power to ensure he is." He reached a hand forward, hesitated briefly, and caressed Hot Rod's cheek. The display of affection felt foreign to him, but Galvatron resolved to work on gentle intimacies. "I love you, my Hot Rod." 


End file.
